I’m sitting and watching the stunning dregs of the last sunset I’ll ever see in my twenties. And what a decade it’s been. Thinking back to this day at 19, I can’t even remember in the slightest where I was or what I did. That person seems so wholly and truly intangible. And yet here she sits. Exactly here. In the body I’ve grown to love and care for. With the same legs that have carried me through 32 countries in ten years. With the same heart that’s known immense love. And immense loss.
Me.
Whatever me even is.
Just this.
18:22
It’s almost incomprehensible to think of everything this decade has entailed.
Madison to Paris to Madison to London to Chicago to Melbourne to Queenstown to Chicago to Brooklyn to Chicago to traveling and returning to Melbourne to Chicago to Dallas to Chicago to whatever the last six months have been. Nine months, really.
A move a year, depending on how you count it. Lives lived. Pieces picked up and pieces left behind. I’ve grown so comfortable in leaving certain things behind. People, places, moments. But there’s so much I’ve held onto too.
The fact that I’m sitting where I am right now is a testament to that.
I don’t know if it’s necessary or important to take stock of how I’ve changed. Or simply that I have. Maybe it is.
Maybe I’m here to finally, once and for all, let him go. Leave him in this decade. And just start it all over tomorrow. Metaphorically.
22:10
We’re just all on such different paths. And that’s okay.
Madison → Barcelona → Madison → London → Melbourne → Melbourne → Brooklyn → Columbia → Chicago → Chicago → Costa Rica
i’m going to let sleep take me where it will